A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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