Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
