I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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