i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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