Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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