did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
