I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
