she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
