So drunk its hurt
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
