The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
