just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
