I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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