Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
