you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
