...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
