1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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