Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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