Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize