You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
