HIV tests are more positive than that guy
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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