I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize