my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
