I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Randomize
