Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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