girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
