i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
