i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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