If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
