In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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