well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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