Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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