so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you win again, gameday.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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