So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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