dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
