i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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