i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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