im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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