The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
