She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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