Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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