gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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