me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
She even gives head with a lisp.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
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