what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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