Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize