I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
