His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
what day is it and did you see me today?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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