They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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