After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
