But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize