I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
