Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page

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(206): View more from Washington

i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.

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(325): View more from Texas

just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?

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(785): View more from Kansas

turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high

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(585): View more from New York

Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there

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(678): View more from Georgia

I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.

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(623): View more from Arizona

just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.

(623): View more from Arizona

and by single i mean slutty

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".

(202): View more from Washington, DC

I'm fucked.

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(626): View more from California

I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.

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