So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
