Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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