note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
