Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize