Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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