I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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