either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
North Korea, Best Korea!
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
