So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You pole danced in your parka.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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