even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize