Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
