he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
