People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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