You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
