How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
