She is in my trunk
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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