and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
