why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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