Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
