i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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