I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
only if we run a train.
done.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
