Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize