Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize