I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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