I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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