You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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